Stand up and be Counted

Ken Dodd is the comedian’s comedian, Michael McIntyre, the face of stand-up on BBC, Max Miller, the “cheeky chappie”, Jackie Mason, the rabbi turned laughter-maker – all have or had one thing in common: the ability to stand directly in front of an audience with nothing but their wits about them, and make them laugh.

There has been a renaissance in stand-up, like teenage girls speculating about their love-lives, everyone appears to be doing it – and why not? For years gifted purveyors of jokes in pubs were lucky to benefit from the next round, now the Pub Landlord and his Read more »

Under Pressure

We’ve all heard of the hair that broke the camel’s back, I don’t know whose hair it was or how it reached the camel – maybe a gust of wind blew it from a chic hairdressers in Mayfair to Cairo, perhaps it was one of Cheryl Cole’s or Wayne Rooney’s; no probably not Wayne’s, for obvious reasons. Whoever’s it was, however it got there, I know the feeling!

There is only so much you can take, not the trifling irritants – scalding yourself in the shower when your hand slips on the tap, the toast falling on the floor in the morning marmalade-side up, treading in, well, you know what-on the pavement on your way to work, standing on the train, crushed between the least attractive passengers in the carriage, each displaying a rabbit-like twitch of the nose as the mild but putrid smell from your shoe reaches them, Read more »

RED AND BLACK: A NEW LOW FOR BRITISH TV

The stakes are nothing – other than your credibility, the potential gain, £1 million; the
audience woops it us, as if they’re at a latter-day Nuremberg Rally, the something for
nothing brigade are at it again. No need to start a riot, go looting or play the lottery,
Ant & Dec are back with Simon Cowell’s new downmarket vehicle, Red or Black.

I’ve never seen such a travesty of a show, its’ aim is pure and simple: greed. Haven’t
they heard, it’s one of the seven deadly sins! Narrow a thousand anxious nobodies
down to one at random, give that person a Read more »

Might Be Needed Someday Stuff!

Garages are for cars, basements are useful as wine cellars or rumpus rooms for the kids, lofts are for storing old family relics, right? Wrong!

We live in a throwaway society, electrical gadgets that break down are not repaired, they’re thrown out, torn clothes are disposed of, whoever heard of anyone darning socks these days? Wobbly heel, stained sofa, scratched surface….. whatever it is, throw it out, shoes, settee, table. Don’t dump, mind, phone the bulk collection service if necessary, recycle what you can, think of landfill sites. Read more »

Encouragement

I’ve only been to the races once, there were no ostentatious hats (it wasn’t Ascot, nor
raining) – mind you, had Princess Bea’s celebrated headwear been on show, I don’t
think it would have survived a heavy downpour; what struck, but didn’t surprise me,
was the excitement of racegoers as their chosen horse galloped towards the finish.

“Go on,” they’d shout, “You can do it”, “Almost there,” their support predicated
on betting slips being waved animatedly about. Despite gesticulations and cheers,
gestures and yells, the horses didn’t seem to take a blind bit of notice. I was minded
to grab a megaphone and address the grandstand: “They can’t understand you, they’re
not Mr Ed*, horses don’t talk, listen or converse!”

Jockeys might, but are far too busy to respond Read more »